Hey guys this is a very sensitive subject for me and I’m sure it is for so many of you out there. 2 years today I lost my best friend, my rock, my mother. Even after two years, it is still raw and hurts me so much to even think about her. I thought today would be a great day to help others and to help myself by writing a post on how I coped after losing a loved one. Whether its a parent, grandparent, friend or even a pet, death effects us all at one point in life and there is always help out there. Here are a few points on coping/making life a little bit better.
The world is not against you
After losing mam I always thought the world was totally against me.. turns out, people just believed the twisted words my so called sister told them about me. The wiser ones didn’t believe a word she said and was there for me every step of the way. I realised I didn’t need those other people in my life.. so to my lovely so called sister, thank you for doing me a favour and getting rid of those awful people from my life. The blogging community has definitely restored my faith in humanity…they are genuinely some of the kindest people i’ve met (even though I haven’t met them in real life but i’m sure you get me?)
Some people will be against you/just not like you or be there for you… but that’s okay because who needs them?!
Someone loves you no matter what
When my mam (my best friend..the one i did everything with and talked to about everything) passed away, i thought no one was left to love me.. but the truth is, there are always people around you that will always love you no matter what. My boyfriend Luke and my boss/neighbour are the two people that have always shown that they love me and are there for me and i am truly grateful to have them both in my life. Whether it’s a parent, partner, best friend or even your dog.. someone loves you!!
“It doesn’t get better.. it just gets different”
I recently saw this quote in a newspaper. Losing someone close to you can change your life completely. It never gets better.. you just learn to live with it and slowly move on. Everyone deals with grief differently, some move on straight away.. some take years to move on.. it’s totally normal.
Change is sometimes the best thing
The best thing i ever did was go travelling and go back to college. I travelled Australia for three months, went to Amsterdam, Berlin and explored London a few times, it really made me realise that i loved travelling and would like to do more of it! I also applied to go back to college and I’ve almost finished my first year! I applied to study Business Administration and realised it wasn’t for me.. fortunately i did like the business aspect of it and applied to do Business Studies in September.. so hopefully that will help me start my own cake business (as studying something i really didn’t like has made me fall in love all over again with baking.. YAY!)
Start a new hobby
One of the best things I ever did was start my own blog. Blogging was something i always wanted to do but never had the courage to do it. A year after my mama death i decided to take the plunge and write about her.. that is when The Little Girl From Wales was born! A year on and I absolutely love it.. I’ve even started an instagram, twitter, Facebook account and even my own Youtube channel… something i NEVER thought i’d do!!!
Starting a new hobby is a great way to be happy. It can get your mind off things and can help you through so many things!
It’s okay to cry
I really don’t think I’ve cried enough over the last two years.. and i think it’s effected me a lot. Crying is a great way to let things go and let your emotions out. Keeping your feelings in really isn’t good for you, it can even make you ill.. constantly thinking about things and letting it play with your mind. I love looking through old photos when life was much happier and simpler, and let all my emotions out. Sometimes i even write my emotions in blog posts and just keep them in my drafts or delete them. It makes me feel so much better and healthier. I’m one of those people who never cry in front of people.. so I try to cry when I’m alone.. it might sound weird but i feel sooooo much better afterwards!
When i lost my mam.. I couldn’t look at any photos of her because it was simply too hard knowing she’d never smile again like in the pictures. But recently I’ve fought my emotions and got out the photo albums! Seeing all the old photos of my mam made me think about her and the good old days more and more and it also made myself feel better. I’ve always been lucky to have a grandad and dad that carried a camera with them everywhere and took hundreds of photos, because now we have so many photo albums to look through and think of happy memories. Looking back at old videos and photos should only be done when you feel totally ready… doing it too soon can sometimes drive you to the point where you’ll never look at them again.
Appreciate what you have left
You should always appreciate the people around you, because one day..they won’t be there. Whether it’s your parent, partner or even your pet.. make the most of them and make the best memories possible!
After what happened to me and tragic recent events such as Manchester this week, it makes you realise what’s important. Tell your loved ones that you love them, you never know when it will be the last time x
Give yourself time
It’s true what they say, “Time is a great healer”. It has taken me almost two years to even begin getting back to normal (although life will never be completely normal again). I still struggle every day but I’ve realised.. I need to live the life my mam never got to live as she died at 49 years old. It’s important to give yourself time as only you know your limits, don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do and definitely don’t let anyone else force you, it can cause even more damage.
Make them proud!
Do what makes you happy! No matter what, that person who is no longer here will ALWAYS be proud of you! x
Thank you for reading. I would love to know how you’ve coped after losing someone. If ever you need to talk about anything like this, please contact me, I wouldn’t mind having someone to talk to myself!!
Tonight i’ll be releasing a lantern in memory of my mam just like i did this time last year… Doing this makes me feel close to her and it’s such a beautiful thing to do x